Oh the dreaded self care topic, at least that's how I felt every time someone was telling me how they were lounging in the tub with a glass of wine. So what defines self care? The dictionary tells me it's something we do to take care of our mental, emotional and physical health. Ok still broad, ok it goes a little more specific if I read further on google, good self care is the key to improved mood and reduced anxiety. Ok, so why have I been told all these years I can't clean? hahahaha I clean kitchen at night and a pot of coffee ready to percolate all by itself at 5:10am sure makes me happy and melts my worries away.
I blame social media for much of this. You see endless amounts of spa days, wine tours, girlfriends getting together and carefree and having so much fun, hot tubs and wine, the list is endless. It seems everyone in the world but me is carefree and having the best times, right? Well social media is a sneaky beast, that I refuse to let trick me, because I know it's a trick, you know how I know, I saw a very candid post the other day from one of those wine drinking, hot tubbing hotties. It totally caught me by surprise, she was posting about how it may look like she does all these amazing things flawlessly and everything is just right but in reality her struggle is she can't just sit and be, relax, not do something. This was a great eye opener, we all struggle with something and social media can make all of that hidden if one wants it to be.
So what is self care for a special needs mom? well for me it's having a clean kitchen at night and sitting back and thinking heck I love my space and I'm going to love waking up in the morning to this nice clean spot and a hot coffee, it's sneaking off to the garden for 20 minutes and enjoying every minute of it, waking up at 5:20 and having 40 minutes of no kids and a hot coffee and planning my day, it's going for a brief walk around the yard and making a fall decoration for the doorstep. Self care for me is those brief moments I get to do something by myself, no talking, just my thoughts, I've had to think outside the box and get rid of all those stereotypical bubble baths and wine glasses, novels and hammocks, and spa days. The sooner you stop comparing the sooner you will become ok with the cards you were dealt, you may not have the best hand some days but it's still your job to play the best card game you can. Being ok with how things are and finding areas you have control over where you can improve things is a must. Try hard to not let the FOMO (fear of missing out) to creep in, it will take you down fast and hard. Make your home a place you love, have things you love outside of being a mom, find things that light you up inside, find creativity, find a love for cooking, all these things will help you as a special needs parent, they will help you not loose yourself, help you find the light when the day is dark.
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