I've been indulging in morning ME TIME for years. It some what happened organically, my kids were always early risers we got use to getting up with the sun. As time went on they slept longer in the mornings, but there were no longer nap times when I got to recharge my batteries, get things done for myself, the days were definitely more demanding.
I was counting down the minutes till bedtime once supper came, just so I had my time at night, this was equally exhausting, and I wasn't very productive. That's when it clicked, I need to start getting up at my old time and start tending to the things I enjoy that require no kids. I feel this is where the joke of Ebony and the 5am Club started. I encouraged girlfriends to do it, we would phone chat uninterrupted at 5am, it was amazing, to sip coffee, catch up, motivate each other in our days, we all felt the shift.
I have 3 big reasons for you to start your day before the kids
It Sets The Tone For The Day - There is nothing better waking up in your own thoughts and needs in quiet. No one instantly demanding from you, no one to tend to right away but yourself. Catching your breathe, feeding your belly, feeding your mind uninterrupted, drinking HOT fresh coffee! This can truly change how you see a day regardless what crazy things come your way. I treat it as recharging my batteries.
Sets Your Priorities - once you are good, it is so much easier to get your priorities straight. If you wake up behind the eight ball you are playing catch up all day and can end up walking in circles, not being focused, feeling burnt out before you start. Having taken care of your wants and needs leaves so much opportunity to be the mom and women you want to be for everyone else.
Changes Your Mindset - This is hands down the biggest shift that will ever happen as a mom. Putting yourself first, no guilt attached. There is something in the mom culture that breeds this idea of we put our kids first over our own needs and that is what good moms do. Ummmm well...
I'm not sure how to gracefully go there lol I don't think you ALWAYS have to put your kids needs first over yours, I'm the mom who will eat dinner first while it's hot, and its quiet before I call everyone in from playing outside for dinner. I'm a better mom when my needs are met, I get hangry easily, my patience is thin and frankly I can be a bitch when I don't take care of myself, no one wins on those days, so I don't let those days happen!
This truly will be the start of changing your mindset and what you as a mom deserve. You are the most important person in your life, if you aren't good, how can you give everyone else the best of you, it's not a sustainable plan. So stop feeling guilty and take care of yourself.
5am Club is the first step in doing it guilt free!
I see so many moms wishing they had time to do things they love, putting their needs on the back burner, it makes me want to shout from the roof top. This is where Happy & Thriving Moms was born, to encourage moms to do the things, support each other and stop depriving themselves of what they need. 5am Club lives within this group because it is such an important piece to my success of how I approach the days and life. If you need help pop on over to my group and check out the guides section on how to start your journey to getting up before the kids - Happy & Thriving Moms - Home of the 5am Club
I could talk about the 5am Club all darn day, wait I probably do on some days lol. Why is that? because it is such a crucial part of my day, my happiness, my fulfillment and I want that for all the women who struggle with not having enough time for themselves.
I started indulging in the 5am Club quite a few years ago, at first it wasn't a choice, it was merely a part of the life of having small kids. Then as they grew and started to sleep a little longer I realized I was truly missing out on such a gem of an opportunity. A time I could get up before the kids, be with myself and my thoughts and mentally prepare for the day, and drink hot coffee in peace lol. So I started adjusting my schedule at night and going to bed earlier and getting up in the 5am hour. I honestly can't imagine not doing it any more, it is that important in my life.
So much creativity, planning, day dreaming, goal setting, and joy happens for me in the 5am hour, it's insane. It's spring as I write this and I'm a huge gardening fan, I call it my therapy. The last many weeks my 5am Club hour has revolved around planning gardens, researching, dreaming about projects and figuring out how I'm going to get them done. So much headway happens when you aren't interrupted, it's such a fantastic time to really dive into something you want to get done, the distractions are limited at that hour.
It can be daunting thinking about getting up early, how am I going to do that, I'll be to tired, I hear all of this often when I speak about the 5am Club, I get it, but don't knock it till you truly give it a run, you may find it's exactly what your soul needs. I love helping people discover the 5am Club and thrive, that's why I created the 5am Club Guide, in my Happy & Thriving Moms Group I want every mom to start the day excited and fulfilled. Our jobs are never ending and it's time to start putting ourselves first and filling our cups so we in turn can fill others.
If you need help flipping your day around and rocking the 5am Club pop on over to the Happy & Thriving Moms Group great things happen here!
Ebony
Oh the time change, it seems we talk about this twice a year! Spring ahead, Fall behind. I'm one of those lucky ones that it has never really bothered me or been an issue that has caused me grief, that goes for my kids as well, but as I surf social media, I see that is definitely not the case for so many. I was chatting with a friend the other day and we brought up the question why is that? Am I approaching it different than other families, I can't be can I?
I am a huge believer in mindset, how we internally talk about ourselves, our situations and our problems can project outwards and transfer to how we deal with situations and problems that arise in our lives. When time change rolls around each year, in my head it's not big deal, we all loose 1 hour of sleep that night, 1 hour, that's no big deal right? Don't we stay up 30-60 minutes to late doing something silly like watching a movie or surfing Pinterest at least one night in the run of a week? I know I do, I've caught myself do that on a Thursday night, getting lost in surfing chicken coops, GUILTY! ha! Yes, I'm a little sleepy the next day but no biggie. So time change, we loose 1 hour of sleep that Saturday night, but in exchange we actually gain something magnificent, an entire 1 extra hour of beautiful daylight, OMG it's amazing, to see that sky still lit up at 7pm! How energizing is that? Summer is coming! I consciously do a little extra the week following, I try hard to be a little extra kind to myself and make an extra effort to eat healthy and make good choices for the week following time change, this will help you adjust. Here is my #1, No big plans that will cause you to loose any hours of sleep! Depending on your body you may take a week to feel like you are back to normal, so spend the week sticking to your schedule that allows you to get the sleep your body requires, do the things at night that encourage you to feel like you are ready for a rested nights sleep, STAY ON SCHEDULE!
So it's pretty easy for me to speak about adults, we can suffer things out and deal with it, but what about adding kids in there. I will speak about how I have always approached it and so far I'm 3 for 3 with kids who aren't bothered.
1. Don't fret, no biggie, it's going to be a bit darker when you are getting ready for school/morning/daycare, turn more lights on.
2. It's a little brighter when you are going to bed, close some more curtains
3. Keep your schedule exactly the same, if your kids usually get up at 6am wake them up at 6am, the mistake comes thinking you need them to make up for that 1 hour lost, that's a hard NO unless you want to throw the whole day off, and ultimately destroy bedtime. I know I don't mess with bedtime, I treat that like an atomic bomb that will detonate if I go past the set bedtime.
4. Don't speak your negative thoughts and anticipations about it, that speaks life into a situation that might not have been, and little ears and brains hear everything you say, don't create a problem down the rd that could have been avoided.
5. Take the opportunity of more light in the evening to go outside and burn some energy off, they will sleep better! I have gone for a pre bedtime walk with the kids every night since time change, there wasn't time before, it was supper then it was dusk, now its still bright for that 30 minute window of opportunity before the bedtime routine starts.
6 Don't stress, this is the sign that spring is on the cusp, we are so close! That should be celebrated.
So there is my time change life in a nutshell lol, notice how many times I spelled routine? HA! it is my life, and our home runs like a well oiled machine, and I love it. I know we all function differently and this may look a little intense for you, but I always encourage having kids on a tight schedule so you as a parent can squeeze in the things you need to each day knowing you will have some time after they go to bed and before they get up. I'm a happier mom because I know everyday at that certain time I'm off duty.
Happy Time Change!
I don't know about you, but those days leading up to spring really put a pep in my step. Those days that the sun is shining and you can start to feel the warmth again, those longer days, those mornings that the sky is brighter before the kids wake up, the birds, the spring smells, all of it!
Every year about this time I get a renewed sense of motivation, energy, a fresh excitement. I know myself enough now that I need to be carful, I am prone to excitement overload where I can easily go in 5 directions but not get one project done, the struggle is real lol. So I need to be mindful of making lists of my to do's, what I need and want to get done, or I can find myself just wondering a greenhouse lost in my head. It's actually quite funny, I always joke about the local greenhouses being my therapy sessions because it does wonders for me when I make a visit. We literally have one that opened this week on reduced hours and it requires you to make an appointment, so I made one, which makes it seem like even more of a therapy session! Im so darn excited HA!
I'm a firm believer of looking at goals often and pivoting where you need to, gardening is no different, each year I learn from the last, expand on some areas and pull back in others. Each season I go through massive changes in my routines and my activities. Spring is a huge season where I implement a whole new time consuming venture of gardening, tending, and growing. I missed a goal last year I had of making salsa from my garden, my drive and determination is much more this year and I know where I want wrong, I'm rolling it over to my goal list yet again. I can easily get lost in gardening and forget all my other life goals, remember it is my therapy, my happy place so it's so easy for me to let my troubles loose in the garden. I've started to already be conscious of the things I will want to do in the garden this year, knowing they will take time and consistency along side all my other life duties I must continue, I don't want to drop the ball on my other important daily activities, so I'm going to work hard to balance it all out, so I can feel the rewards through all areas of my life.
If you have been dreaming of some exciting gardening ideas for this spring and you want to seamlessly add them into the everyday hustle of life consider these 3 things to make it a more enjoyable productive experience.
1. Plan it out, don't wait till the day of your gardening extravaganza to figure it out, start planning for it days even weeks ahead of time.
2. Cook extra the day before or utilize a freezer meal you tucked away, this way you have that much more time to do the thing, without worrying about stopping to make supper and the stresses that can add.
3. Find a way to include the kids or at least entertain them in the area you are working. it's amazing what good manual labourers kids are when it comes to picking rocks, pushing wheelbarrows and moving things. Just remember to make it fun.
If this sounds like you, pop over to my FB Group where we chat all the things that help us women stay true to ourselves and rock mom life.
Happy Gardening and Goal Setting.
Being stuck is plain old crappy any way you slice it. It can't just be me but it seems i'm always battling it somewhere, creatively, personal, work, finding the time I need to do some project I want to. It happens to all of us, and in different levels and degrees. I remember years ago I was stuck in life in general, I was a fresh special needs mom, 2 kids, husband that works away a lot, and isn't very helpful when he is home, so I found myself stuck in life, in the way I didn't know where I wanted it to go or even how to figure that out.
I don't feel like that anymore, I worked on my mindset and implemented some routines into my life that have really helped me get out of that massive funk of stuck. It wasn't easy and I still have my moments of being stuck but they don't last weeks or months, they last days and I'm able to pull myself out.
I find myself now days hearing so many stories of women stuck in life and not sure where to go or even how to figure it out, and I feel it, I feel it deep because that was me and I remember how discouraging, terrible and sad it made me feel. So I gravitate towards these women looking for a way to help them push through and find that excitement, and vision they crave. Sometimes it's so clear from the outside, but for some reason we as humans sometimes over look the simplest answers, it happens all the time.
I truly am put here to help others and I get excitement out of helping women reach and see dreams, entrepreneurial stuff and empowering them in their lives. So this path has led me to creating an online course for women who are legit stuck, to help them get back on track and in a spot they can start to really getting those dreams in view and feel empowered in their every day lives as moms. Get them back on track and excited for everyday, tending to their needs as women and rocking life in their homes as well.
If you are feeling stuck pop over to my FB Group Happy & Thriving Moms, lots of great stuff happens there and check out my online course: http://ebonymaria.com/page/sales-page-for-course?fbclid=IwAR3xK_3i8-aMhcp0p-EdpmLQ9MgoOV9_56OAqAja1XJ1tDGoU_SR5Jr1etE
We aren't put here to survive we are meant to thrive in our lives, it's time we stop putting ourselves last and really start to take care of our needs so we can be our best version for our families.
